


My Hustler, My Shrink

by The Little MerBucky (blue_pointer)



Series: The Back of the Closet Leads to Narnia [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1990s, Boston, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Car Sex, Catholic Guilt, Dead Steve, Drug Addiction, Gay Bucky Barnes, Human Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Hustlers, Iron Soldier, Iron Winter, Loss of Virginity, M/M, MIT Era, POV Tony Stark, Pansexual Tony, Rent boys, Sex Addiction, buckyxtony, pre-wedding jitters, sex worker Tony, when you're gay and your fiancee isn't, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 14:17:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10466967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/The%20Little%20MerBucky
Summary: College student Tony Stark doesn't hustle for the money, he does it for the thrills. When a closeted hottie from Brooklyn drives all the way to Boston to find out if he's really gay, will Tony take the high road and talk him through his pre-wedding jitters?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this. Hopefully it doesn't offend anyone.

Tony shifted around, trying to determine what the best way was to lean against the wall. Was it the standard one sole on the wall, one on the ground, which let the johns get a partial look at the ass they were buying? Or should he give up pretending to be coy and just turn to face the wall, ass-out doing some classic pin-up pose? He had to be honest with himself, though, few of the cars cruising this alley were looking for ass. Most of them were looking for dick, either to suck or to go up where the sun don’t shine. It was fine; he could top. He could do anything they wanted, so long as he got his fix. 

Drugs had stopped being an option since Jarvis had put him in rehab. And sure, Tony still wanted all of those feelings. Even the terrible ones. He was an addict. But going down that road upset Jarvis, and Jarvis was all he had now. He couldn’t lose him, too. The fear of Jarvis leaving him through some crushing disappointment in Tony as a human being was very real to him. And so he’d found a new addiction. One that was just as dangerous as the drugs--maybe more--but which showed less, and which wasn’t all that detrimental to his health. Safe sex was pretty easy when you were paid to top--okay, the oral sex less so. But Tony got regular checkups for all of that, and he’d managed to avoid herpes thus far. He figured he’d been doing pretty well. And there was no payoff without risk.

He’d only started this game this semester, and already he had a boatload of stories for his next frat party game of truth or dare. The time he’d been picked up by an actual serial killer and accidentally broken a case that had gone cold for a decade. More than one celebrity home he’d gotten to see inside, and not as Tony Stark, philanthropist, but as Tones, the ruffled boy off the street who got to use the secret toy collection. One time, he’d even had a woman pick him up. That one had been thrilling--and not just because of the unprotected sex. Going at it like a horny teenager in the back of her SUV, Tony had come inside her three times. Stud service. The poor cougar had been trying to get pregnant by her husband for ten years with no luck. Tony saw the logic. A couple hundred from a good looking kid in the alley was way cheaper than a fertility clinic. He wondered about her sometimes, if she was walking around CambridgeSide, shopping for maternity clothes with his little bun in her oven. Women he fucked as himself, he had to be extra careful with. A Stark heir, even an illegitimate one, would cost him a pretty penny. So he was always careful. Dad had beat that lesson into him, anyway.

But mostly, sex with women was short and unsatisfying. The added worry of knocking up one of them just took away from the fun. So Tony was fine with getting all guys out here. Guys were dangerous, and often desperate. It made his nights on the wall even more fun than weekends at the frat house. Seducing drunk jocks was no sport at all. It was okay, but this was the thrill Tony lived for. This was what really got him off.

Headlights at the end of the row, and everyone got into position. Tony had his work cut out for him, up against the teenage waifs surrounding him, heroin addicts, mostly, and in every flavor of ephebe: blue-eyed, curly-haired, chocolate, cafe au lait, straight out of Bangkok, those who looked younger, older, more femme, more butch, more neither. Being a brown-haired, brown-eyed piece of candy in this box didn’t put him at an advantage. But that was part of the game. Where others had their patented innocent or sullen looks, Tony liked to meet the cruisers dead-on, smirk invitingly into the hesitant eyes in the driver’s seat. One night, he’d made the mistake of not looking into the backseat before he’d climbed in. That had resulted in a gangbang. Gang rape, some would have said. But Tony had enjoyed it. Not enough to willingly do it again--those injuries had been impossible to hide from Rhodey or Jarvis--but enough to think of it fondly when he was jerking off now and then.

No, he wasn’t your average hustler by any stretch.   

The car rolled slowly by--a cadillac sedan, circa more than 20 years ago. Okay, so no one rich or even middle class, but could either be young or old. It stopped in his territory. Looked like Tony was going to get to open this Christmas present. Hands in his pockets, he ran forward as the window rolled down, leaning to peer in. It was dark inside the cab, but holy shit. What was this guy doing cruising for a pickup boy?

“Get in,” he said.

“Don’t you wanna ask prices? Get a better look at my face?” Tony was only teasing a little. He could tell this one was nervous.

“Get the fuck in the car, or I’m driving away.” REALLY nervous.

“Okay, jeez. Don’t get your shorts in a twist,” Tony said, as he opened the door and leaped in. The car was already moving before he made it into the passenger seat. This guy wasn’t kidding. “You’re not gonna take me somewhere quiet and murder me, are you?” Tony always liked to joke to break the ice. “Because, for the record, that’s been tried, and it didn’t quite work out the way the guy expected. Least I don’t think so.”

The john was quiet, white-knuckling the steering wheel at 10 and 2, watching the road like he expected to get pulled over for soliciting a prostitute at any moment.

“There’s a nice lookout point, you make a right just up here. If you’re lookin’ for someplace kinda private. Honest, I’m fine doing it on Boylston, if you want. I’m here for the sex, not the anonymity.”

“Don’t you ever shut up?” the driver asked, an edge of terror in his voice.

“Hey.” Tony slid over--he loved front seats like this, without a gear shift, it was more like a couch--smoothed his palm up the guy’s arm to his shoulder.  _ Not bad _ . “You don’t have to be nervous,” Tony soothed. “Just relax. I promise I’ve done this enough times for both of us.”

There was a 50-50 chance a move like this was going to end in Tony getting back-handed. But it looked like he’d won the coin-toss tonight. Mr. Anxious relaxed a little bit, started to breathe. Tony smirked. “Want me to shut up, you could always put your dick in my mouth. That method tends to work just fine.”

“I’m driving,” the man grunted. He actually didn’t look that much older than Tony. Which was unusual. Not as unusual as being beautiful, but still.

“That doesn’t mean  **I** can’t start now,” Tony purred, reaching over to slide one hand down the guy’s hard abs to his fly, where he let his fingers do the walking.

“What the--stop!” the man shouted, jerking the steering wheel so that they nearly plowed into a row of parked cars. Missing them, he screeched into the next available spot down the road--a fire zone, as luck would have it, but the guy didn’t seem to care. By then Tony was pressed into the back of his seat, fully seatbelted in, wondering if this was the end. The man turned the engine off and leaned his forehead against the steering wheel.

“Sorry,” Tony said--but only because he’d seen his life flash before his eyes. “It’s a pretty common request.”

“Is it?” the guy spoke without opening his eyes or taking his head off the steering wheel. “I never done this before.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell.” Maybe he should be a little more patient with the guy. He was probably a talker. Tony could do talkers. They did nothing for his adrenaline addiction, but he’d had some pretty interesting conversations. Your average man in Boston could engage in some lively debate, if not discussions of higher math and physics--though Tony had run into both.

“Listen. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot.” Tony turned, leaned his elbow against the seat, rested his cheek in his hand. “Hi. The name’s Tony. You want me to call you anything special?”

“Bucky,” the man said, with no hesitation.

“What, seriously?” That earned him an annoyed glance. Pretty peepers. It made Tony wish there was more light to see him by. “Sorry, I mean most johns give me a fake name, but that one sounds like it belongs to Howdy Doody’s sidekick.”

“Fuck you,” the man said, finally laying off the steering wheel. “My best friend gave me that nickname when we were kids.”

Tony raised his hands in surrender. “Mea culpa.” When Bucky had nothing more to add, Tony figured it was up to him. “So, mind if I ask something else?” The man shrugged. “What does a gorgeous guy like you need with a trick? Asking for a friend.”

That seemed to give the guy food for thought. “Only ugly guys pick up prostitutes?” He clearly had no idea how this worked. It was adorable.

“No, I mean. A lot of times there’s something that prevents them from getting laid the normal way. Looks, age, ability. Others have secrets to keep from their wives, families, bosses. My guess is you’re the second kind.”

Bucky took a deep breath, and seemed to deflate with the exhalation. “Do prostitutes always talk this much?” So he’d hit a nerve.

“No, I think that’s just me,” Tony admitted. “Sorry, tiger, you lucked out. How come you picked me, anyway? Was it random?” Tony enjoyed hearing their reasons why. He didn’t do this for the money, after all. There was the thrill, sure, but the ego stroking didn’t hurt either.

“You looked clean,” the man said, his eyes giving Tony the once-over. “You’re cute. And your eyes looked...kind?” Tony wasn’t sure if he was guessing or just being shy.

“Look, there’s no right or wrong answer, here. I was just curious.” When Bucky looked away and didn’t say anymore, he continued. “So what does a handsome guy like yourself need a prostitute with kind eyes for?” This wasn’t the first time Tony had gotten to play father confessor to a john. He didn’t mind it, though he was starting to give up all hope of getting laid tonight.

Bucky glanced over at him, then glanced out the driver’s window. “I just--I don’t know. Maybe--I guess I figured it would be better if my first time was with someone...gentle.”

Tony’s heart jumped up and started doing aerobics like it was Olivia Newton John. “Wh--”  _ Play it cool, Tony.  _ “You mean your first time with a guy, right? No way an angelic face like that doesn’t draw the girls like flies to molasses.” Bucky just nodded. Tony’s stomach was flip-flopping. A virgin--an actual virgin! And one that was this hot?! He felt like he’d just won the lottery.

“Don’t get me wrong.” Bucky held out one hand for Tony to cool his stampede of assumptions. “I fooled around some, you know, as a kid. But…”

Tony thought he was starting to see the bigger picture. “With your best friend...right?” A lone street light betrayed the darker shade Bucky’s cheeks were turning. The fact he looked down, guilty, gave Tony his answer. “So what happened? He start dating girls first?”

Bucky shook his head. “We got caught. Once. That’s all it took.”

“And you’ve been spanking your monkey thinking about his sweet mouth ever since, am I right?”

That earned him an indignant glare. “You’re fuckin vulgar, you know that?”  

Tony shrugged, smiling his ‘sorry, not sorry’ smile. “Prostitute. Remember?” Bucky looked away in a manner that suggested he had not. So definitely a talker. Tony sighed, inwardly. “So tell me more.”

Bucky shrugged. “What’s to tell? It didn’t work out. Being gay isn’t okay where I come from.”

“Where’s that? North Carolina?”

Bucky glared. “Brooklyn.”

“Brooklyn?” Tony could have told Bucky a few things about gays in Brooklyn. He also wondered why this baby-faced man-virgin had come so far from home.

“My family’s Catholic,” he said, as if that explained everything.

“ _ Mazeltov _ ,” Tony congratulated him. “My mom tried to raise me Catholic. I just couldn’t keep my hands off the altar boys or the sacramental wine.”

Bucky’s look of horror made Tony laugh out loud. “Let’s just say a life of abstinence wasn’t in the cards for me.” He looked the man up and down, eyed the bulge in his pants, mentally calculating. “So what did you have in mind for tonight, sugar? One final fling to prove to yourself that you’re not gay?”

Bucky shook his head, looking helpless. “I just figured...well. I never been with a guy before. Maybe I’m not. Maybe it was just... _ him _ .”

Tony noticed something wrong with that sentence. “Wait. ‘Was?’ Oh, honey, don’t tell me your sweetheart is gone?” That could have meant so many things. But Tony had a bad feeling… Maybe it was the way Bucky was pressing his thumb and index finger into his eyes.

“I didn’t come here to talk about this.” His lips were drawn back from his teeth, jaw clenched. He was breathing very carefully, trying not to cry, if Tony was any judge.

No, sex was definitely not what this one had come to Boston for. “Hey.” Tony reached up for the hand he’d left on the steering wheel. “C’mere.”

Bucky looked skittish, like he was about to pull away. “Both my parents died in a car crash,” Tony told him. “So I get it. Guess you picked the right boy after all.” Bucky just looked at him, stunned, like a sad rabbit in headlights. “Are you gonna fucking hug me or what? Usually I charge extra for this shit.”

The guy was on him so fast, Tony felt like he hadn’t even seen him move. He was thin, but sinewy, like a runner. His embrace was awkward, hesitant at first, but then he was clinging to Tony for dear life. “Fuck, you were really holding it all in, weren’t you?” Tony rubbed his back.

“I miss him so much.” The guy was seriously crying. Tony could feel the translucent fabric of his shirt getting damp.  _ Damn. _ So much for getting laid tonight.

“That’s rough, kid.” Tony’d never loved anyone like this. He wasn’t sure he wanted to.

“Kid?” Bucky pulled back to look at him, swiping at his watery eyes. “How old do you think I am?”

Tony put a hand to his chin, trying to pretend he could look at Bucky this close without drowning in those beautiful blue eyes. “I dunno. 29?”

The guy scoffed. “I’m 35. And how old are you? 18?”

Tony looked indignant. “You’re only 10 years older than I am.” Which was a lie. He’d just turned 21. But Tony wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. “Get over yourself!”

Bucky sat back in the driver’s seat, rubbing at his eyes. “You got a pretty smart mouth for a prostitute.”

Tony smirked. The ideas people had about what sex workers were supposed to be like were pretty amusing. “Ah, all the better to blow you with, my dear!” He made spidery gestures with his fingers and started leaning toward Bucky’s crotch.

“Wait!” Bucky hurriedly covered his groin like the virgin he was. “I mean...are we--we’re doing this? You still wanna do this?” He glanced around, as though people were watching them from the darkened warehouse across the street.

Tony leaned back, amused yet frustrated. “So which one of us is the client here? Because I feel like you should probably know the answer to that question.”

“Well, you can say no, right?” Bucky asked. “You always have the ability to say no. Pay-for-sex is a customer service industry, just like any other one...right?”

Tony pretended he had patience. “I didn’t say no yet, did I?”

Bucky looked like he was trying to find an excuse. “No, but. I figure you might not wanna have sex with a guy who’s a total basket case the week before his wedding.”

“Whoa!” Tony gestured like a referee. “Time out. You’re getting  _ married? _ And you’re not sure if you’re gay or not?”

“Oh, I’m gay,” Bucky said, sounding resigned. “I just keep hoping.” He glanced over at Tony, his eyes full of regret and longing.

Tony leaned toward him minutely. “So you find me attractive.”

Bucky nodded, shame written all over his face.

Tony smirked. The whole gay thing, that was really the bride’s problem, wasn’t it? “So what do you want me to do to you?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky wrung his hands, glancing around the cab like a trapped animal. “Can we just--make out a little first? I don’t--I’m not very good at planning sex in advance.”

Kissing, much less all the rest, that was something he didn’t do that much when he was working. But this guy was so damn beautiful… Tony opened his arms. “C’mere, gorgeous. Lay one on me. We’ll pretend you’re dropping me off after a hot date, and we don’t want my dad to catch me.”

Creeping slowly toward him across the seat, Bucky paused. “Is that really a thing? You wanna pretend that?”

“Oh, for--I don’t know!” Tony had run out of even pseudo patience at this point. “I don’t care, I thought--maybe it would make it easier for you-- You know what? Shut the fuck up and kiss me. Right now. Just do it.” 

Bucky snaked an arm around Tony’s waist and leaned in. His lips were warm, soft and hungry. He was only gentle for about two seconds. Then he was all kinds of up in Tony’s business. Both arms went around him, pulling Tony in tight, crushing their torsos together. “Someone’s needy,” Tony grinned when he came up for air, brushing some loose strands of Bucky’s hair back from his face.

“Oh no, this isn’t working!” Bucky panted in dismay.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Tony’s voice was not amused.

“No, I--” Bucky ran his hands through his hair, making it stick up in hunks. “Now I just wanna fuck you. That can’t be right!”

“Oh, the hell it can’t!” Tony’s pants were off and tossed into the back seat before he could blink. He jerked Bucky closer by his hips, then straddled him before he could protest. “If you wanna fuck me, you better do it, pardner. I mean right. Now.” Tony wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck and gave him a lap dance intended to make this an offer he couldn’t refuse.

“Oh, fuck!” Bucky gasped, gripping the underside of Tony’s thighs and jerking him down on the throbbing rod in his pants. “But I don’t--”

For someone who didn’t, he was grinding against Tony’s ass pretty hard. “How does this work?” he asked. “How’m I supposed to--”

“Shhhh.” Tony covered Bucky’s lips with his index finger. “You let me worry about all the technical stuff. You just focus on fucking me.” He reached down to open Bucky’s fly. “Pretend I’m a girl. You’ve fucked girls before, right?”

Bucky nodded, eyes pleading with Tony. “Then you just do what you’d normally do, and I’ll make sure everything goes where it’s supposed to, okay?” He licked the tip of Bucky’s nose as he reached into his pants to pull out his stiff dick.

“Ooo, that’s nice.” Tony bit his lip. “Oo, you’re like a birthday present, and it’s not even my birthday!” He reached back to pull out the vibrator he’d shoved up his ass earlier in case he got bored. There was still plenty of lube left behind, and he wanted this. He wanted it so badly.

Tony turned around, pushing his ass back for Bucky to grip. “Come on, baby, get inside me. Please! I want it!” He reached back, gripping Bucky’s cock and pushing the tip against his entrance. “Oh, yeah! Fuck yes!”

“Your ass…” Seriously, what was he waiting for? He sounded like he’d stumbled into the mystic city of Shangri-La. Hesitant hands cupped Tony’s cheeks. “It’s really…” He gave Tony’s bare tush a squeeze. “Wow.”

“It’s nice, yeah?” Tony grinned back at Bucky over his shoulder. “You wanna fuck it, right?” He wiggled his hips a little, teasing. “Oo, come on! Don’t make me wait!” And, yes, that was his porn voice, but he was quite serious. He’d gone from having a dry night to getting fucked by a virgin, and you couldn’t hit a bigger jackpot than that, in Tony’s book. Well, maybe twins, but--

“Oh, god, yes!” He braced himself with his hands on the dashboard. “Yes, baby, give me that hard dick! I want it! Fill me right up!” The stretch and burn was lovely, and Tony couldn’t resist pushing back, taking him in faster.

By comparison, Bucky was being awfully quiet. There was some gasping, a soft groan, and then a musical sigh as he sunk it in up to the hilt. “Oh, that’s good!” Tony started to bounce, fucking him slow and deep at first, then faster and faster, feeling his toes curl. “Fuck me, baby. Yeah! Yeah! Oh god, I love your dick. Give it to me!”

Up to that moment, Tony was doing all the work: balancing himself, moving, with his sweet virgin boy just dithering a bit with his hands, as if trying to figure out what to do with them. Tony didn’t even care. At this point, he was doing it for his own pleasure. If Bucky couldn’t help him get there, he’d get there himself. But from one moment to the next, Tony found himself slammed forward against the dash, and suddenly he’d traded his awkward virgin for the Marlboro man, or maybe the construction worker from the Village People, because Bucky had gripped him hard by the hips and was jackhammering his ass.

“Hnnn, that’s more like it. Yeah...oh, baby, you needed this. Feel that pent-up sexual frustration. Give it to me, honey. Shoot that load. How long have you been carrying this around? Must’ve felt like you were carrying around bowling balls. Mmf--” Tony’s pornographic soliloquy was cut off by a hand clamping down over his mouth.

“You’re cute, and you got a nice ass,” Bucky whispered in his ear. “But you talk too goddamn much.”

That was fair, Tony thought. And not the first time he’d been told so. He focused on breathing around Bucky’s fingers while working the dick inside him, bearing down and pushing back against those pistoning hips. “Oh, this is wrong; I’m going to hell,” Bucky groaned. When Tony felt him starting to pull out, he pushed back, following him as Bucky sat back in the seat, keeping Bucky trapped inside him. “What are you--”

“Don’t stop,” Tony begged, riding his dick for all he was worth. “Please don’t stop...I wanna feel your hot come inside me. Please.” He leaned back, starting to jerk off as he rode Bucky’s hard dick. Bucky watched him, suddenly quiet, seemingly mesmerized by the sight of Tony pleasuring himself. He reached down to swab away some pre-come on his finger, bringing it almost reverently to his lips. “Oh!” Tony gasped. “Do you wanna suck my dick, too? Oo, I bet your mouth is sweet and warm...you’d probably lick it like a lollipop--oh...Christ!” And with that mental image, he popped like a cork all over the red leather seat.

“Wow.” Bucky gripped Tony’s thighs, slamming him back against the dash and pounding his ass until he came with a harsh cry. By then, Tony was going tingly all over. He smirked, turning to kiss Bucky’s jaw, feeling lazy and satiated. “You liked watching me jizz all over your car.” He chuckled softly. “That got you off.”

Bucky withdrew, sat back in his seat, full of shame and regret. Tony followed, grabbing his shirt to wipe him down. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, sweetcheeks. You just like boys.” He pressed a sloppy kiss to Bucky’s neck. “And, be honest, you knew that when you came up here.”

Breathing hard, Bucky turned to cast a somewhat resentful look at Tony. “I’m still getting married,” he said.

“Of course you are.” Tony was pulling his hoochie shorts back on. “Men like you always do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bucky asked, sullen.

Tony grabbed his face in one hand and blew him a kiss. “It means, see you after your honeymoon, angel. Think of me while you’re fucking your wife. It’ll make things easier.” He opened the door to get out. He could walk back to the alley from here.

“Wait!” Bucky called after him. “I didn’t pay you.”

Tony turned back with a smirk, tipped Bucky’s chin playfully. “This one’s on me, sweetheart.” He winked. “Consider it a wedding present.”

“But...wait!” Bucky called out as Tony shut the car door. “Are you just...going back to the alley? To...do this some more?”

That did give Tony pause. He wasn’t likely to get fucked again tonight. And the odds that he’d get another virgin were way up there. Maybe he should just go home. Savor this one. Maybe jerk off again once he was in the privacy of his own room, and Bucky’s come started to dribble out of his ass. “You’re right.” He turned back, leaning on the car door. “That was a hard act to follow. Feel like giving a guy a lift home?”

Bucky just blinked at him, as though he hadn’t considered the possibility that rent boys had homes. “Oh. Well...sure. If you trust me...”

But Tony was already climbing back into the car. “Sugar, I think I’m gonna go with my instinct on this one.”

They spent the drive across town in awkward silence, Tony breaking it to give directions so that Bucky could get him back to campus. The look on Bucky’s face when Tony told him to turn on fraternity row was priceless. He just stared at Tony in mute shock. “You can pull over right here,” Tony was telling him. “Maybe you don’t need to know WHICH fraternity house I live in.”

“Here? ...Really?”

Tony smirked, pleased. “You better shut that mouth, gorgeous, or you’re liable to catch a fly.” Before Bucky could make things more awkward, Tony leaned forward impulsively and kissed him goodbye. Hard. While Bucky was blinking, trying to recover, Tony did something even more impulsive and slipped one of his phone sex business cards into Bucky’s shirt pocket. “Text me if you get bored on that honeymoon.” And with no more than a wink, he leapt out of the car and sauntered down the street. When the headlights disappeared, he turned to watch Bucky complete a u-turn and go peeling off toward the highway. “Cute.”

“Who’s cute?” Rhodey asked, falling into step beside him, his arms full of books.

“Damn, I am early. Library just close?”

“So where you goin’ all hoed up like that?” Rhodey demanded. “I know you’re a genius, but it’s Monday, Tony, and we have that test in Robotic Systems tomorrow.”

“Big deal.” Tony waved him off. “Anyhow, it’s not about where I’m going but where I’m coming  _ from _ .”

“Oh really?” Rhodey said, rolling his eyes. “Well I hate to disappoint you, but I’m not gonna ask.”

“What makes you think I was gonna tell?” Tony snarked back, disappointed.

“I don’t know, maybe that shit-eating grin on your face, and the fact you  _ always _ have to brag to me about your conquests.”

“Oh, but this was a good one, lovemuffin,” Tony smirked, hugging himself. “So good.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re oversexed?” Rhodey said.

“Just you, huggybear. And I’m sorry for making you jealous.” Tony puckered up and made kissy-lips at him.

“In your dreams.”

Tony chortled at Rhodey’s longsuffering look, bounding up the stairs to their room. He was genuinely pleased with himself, though he couldn’t say exactly why. 


End file.
